Go.Set.Ready.

 Hello, it's been a while since I have blogged. I have been in such a deep place of prayer and reconnecting with God, that I just put blogging to the side. I wrote blogs, but I didn't feel moved to post them. 

So, to catch you up, I started a prayer challenge in December, then picked it up again with a friend in January, aiming for more accountability. It has been a great experience, I have grown closer to God. But it also gave me a sense of stall. I didn't want to do anything till I had it figured out. What does God want me to do, with my blog, with my photography, with my life? It was like I was doing all this research and prayer, but not moving. I couldn't figure out if that was me being lazy or Him causing the stall? 

Well last week I read a chapter in my prayer challenge about being "ready." We are never really ready, yet the saying is "Ready, Set, Go" when in actuality is should be "Go, Set, Ready." So, after more prayer, God placed it on my heart to start blogging again and I just didn't really know what to say. I didn't know where to start, but God advised me he would give me the words. And that's where I've been.

I don't feel quite ready, because I'm still in the struggle of mental stability. Yet, that was the whole purpose of this blog, to take you through my journey with depression and life. I have had some major self discovery in the last couple of months, as I struggled with self-forgiveness and discontentment.  It's been a process. Sometimes we try to make ourselves a victim of our circumstances and although I have tried to not do that, I internalized it in a way of criticizing my decisions and really not forgiving myself for not listening to God. So, I did make myself into a victim and created bouts of depression. 

But, here I am "Go. Ready. Set." I feel stronger today then I felt 2 weeks ago, a month ago, 2 months ago, 3 months ago. But it's still a journey and you can join me as I work through deliverance from discontentment and forgiveness. It's already been an incredibly healing process in just the last couple of weeks. Depression doesn't just come. No illness just arrives. We are exposed to something, whether it's a germs to get a cold or bad food for a stomach ache, there is always a cause and being aware and conquering the true "why"" will moves us closer to deliverance. God, never wanted us to live a life of instability! He wants us to have a sound mind. 

In my next blog I will share with you ways to move towards forgiving yourself and claiming your self worth. Sometimes we don't feel worthy, and there are many reasons for that and we will dig in and find ways to conquer those demons. 

Happy Valentines Day!! 
Even if you aren't currently coupled, remember God loves you and I'm also sending lots of virtual love your way!