Honesty...a Relationship Worth Saving

How many times do we ask for honesty in a relationship?  The absence of honesty is normally that deal breaker or leads to an event that causes friction or ends a relationship. Yet, have you ever consider how honest you are with yourself? Let's be "honest"...how many of us avoid honesty when it comes to ourselves?  It's like we make a concerted effort to live a lie, even when the lie will not benefit us in the end! Crazy right? So, we won't accept lies from others, family, and more, but we will lie to ourselves.

In Chapter 1 of Uninvited, the author taps into how we fear honesty because we are afraid of "honesty's intention to expose and hurt us" so it gives us those mental signals of "danger, danger." But the truth is...our relationship with honesty is worth saving. When we are honest with ourselves we are able to discover those areas of misalignment, like dealing with the spirit of rejection. And when we identify and conquer the root of those areas of misalignment, we are put in the position to heal, develop a strong relationship with God and live a purpose driven life!. "Honesty isn't trying to hurt me. It's trying to heal me."

Let's think about that...there are so many situations where we will be in a relationship, whether friendship or dating and when it turns sour we will look back on signals we chose to ignore. The character attributes, behavior, personality cues and more that a person showed us and we neglected. We chose to create a facade of all the good things that we thought a person brought into our lives totally removing the downward spiral that was possible.


Is it time to renew you relationship with honesty? Whether its in poor habits, studying, eating, working, etc. it's time for truth serum. Date honesty, open the door for transparency and give it permission to reveal to you those areas of misalignment in your life so that you can began to implement a better strategy to get back on track. Personally, I know that if I just took the time to focus and eliminated distractions, i.e. Netflix, tv, randomness, I would be so much better for it in my blogging, my photography, my homeschooling of my child, even my work as an employee in my full-time job.


I challenge you this week to pursue honest moments with yourself. Start small and look at those truth you try to avoid. Be honest with yourself, just as you expect others to be honest with you, because then and only then will you align those areas in your life that are off. Going through the motions and ignoring what's happening doesn't lead to better results. A matter of fact, that could simply lead to the same results and then we have madness, then anxiety, then depression...must I go on? That relationship with honesty, so worth saving especially when you consider the path it can guide you towards.

I dare you to fall in love with honesty this week...

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

Rejection...The Push I Needed

My inconsistency with this blog always gives me an aching feeling of failure and anxiety. That feeling feeds into procrastination, which initiates a relationship with some random Netflix series that truly test my ability to commit, and through this commitment I am left with no action on the blog and oh yeah, not so cool statements like "You're such a failure" and "You're so lazy!" and "Gotham is a really cool series, who knew all of those Batman characters came from these random plots!" 

Yet, the nudge from God to do something with this Lovelee Motivation blog will not go away. When I get in my prayer closet and I sit there waiting for Him to lay some amazing Jeremiah 29:11 plans into my lap, this freaking blog is always dropped first. Then God's microphone. He then probably does "The Woah" back to his throne, while he rolls his eyes. Because see God has patiently been telling me this blog was a priority for years. (Side note: I won't leave you there to wonder."The Woah" is some dance my child just told me about that I had to educate myself on via YouTube. Let Google be your guiding light to Woah discovery.) 

I have always made blogging a chore or an in-the-way item and prioritized it behind really important things like "Gotham, The Good People and Iron Fist Season 2 (Because I was psyched to watch Danny Rand whine about the privilege and responsibility placed on his life)." Ok, refocusing, that was a squirrel moment...but I was not using the blog in the way God intended. It was supposed to strengthen my communication with God as He used me as a touchpoint on topics that had affected me and my human ways of dealing with them, both successfully at times and not so much in others.

As we embark on the last 90 days of the year, I felt it would be really cool to finally be obedient to God regarding the Lovelee Motivation blog, while at the same time using this as an amazing 90 day challenge to create some stronger blogging habits. So you can expect a weekly blog from me over the next 90 days, and for some reason I feel really confident to say the blogs may come more than once a week. But the promise to you and myself is a weekly post on a topic pretty near and dear to me.

I read this amazing book a couple of months ago entitled, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out and Lonely, by Lysa TerKeurst and it truly touched my life. It just so happens that I will be digging into this book again for a book club I recently started. Therefore, why not use my blog to  speak into each chapter from my perspective? So, you can look forward to a blog from me each week! Ya me. I'm slightly excited. Actually really excited, because I know I am going to enjoy this ride into a topic close to my heart. Who knew rejection could push me into commitment?! Well, God probably did...I am sure He knew. But who else? 

Back to the book! I really loved this book and the storytelling from Lysa, as she spoke of her battle with the Spirit of Rejection. That is truly the story of my life. I can't tell you how many projects I have not completed, posts I haven't posted, blogs I haven't shared, challenges I haven't met and relationships that I have failed in, simply because of the fear of rejection. The Spirit of Rejection makes me say things like "I'm independent, I'm a Loner, I don't need lots of friends" and then follow up with actions that strongly support all of those ridiculous statements. The truth being I love people, I love friends and I would love to be in a relationship, but to avoid the rejection of others I will usually do things that don't reflect the energy I would like in return.

Like right now I am really working on not blocking people. I know right? What grown person blocks people. This one does! Right here. If you say something I don't like, or that hurts my feelings, my first instinct is to block you so that I don't have to interact or see anymore texts from you. Also, it protects me from the texts that never come. Like what if you do something that hurts my feelings and you never even follow up to see if I am ok or tell me sorry? Well if you're blocked I will never know if  you did or did not try. Totally protected! Right?

Rejection will have you creating lies in your head that were never said. It will have you defining your value based on the comments of others. It will leave you feeling lonely, broken, unlovable, and unworthy...ALL LIES! But this story starts with us and must end with us. See rejection is rooted in negative self talk which is usually attributed to some situation or event in your life. I know I can pinpoint mine to not really being liked in school when I was younger and excluded by others because I was such a tomboy at a private school, which led to me being a little bully (another story for another day.) But being rejected by the only 4-5 black girls that attended my private school left me putting on this hard exterior at the tender age of 7. Only to enter public school and be picked on by kids of my own race, again,  because I spoke too proper.  The ignorance of it all. So see, my rejection started early, but it lead to my relationship with perfectionism and then unsustainable relationships with friends and men I dated.

Uninvited gave me 3 extremely important and very true statements to counteract my negative self-talk. God is good. Good is good to me. I can trust God to be God. With those statements rooted in my soul I can Live Loved. And when you "Live Loved" you don't have to look for validation from others, because it's deep inside of you. I look forward to you joining me on this journey as we tackle the Spirit of Rejection and learn to love ourselves so that we can show others how to love us!

So there it is...my lackluster relationship with rejection can actually be the push I have been needing to be obedient to God. Whoa! That's interesting...Join me and hopefully we can get some really good conversation going and help each other tackle that "Spirit of Rejection!" And also teeter with the idea of how all rejection isn't bad, but it's not letting those moments of rejection define our value. 

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

Meditation Challenge Pivot! New 21 day plan challenge...

Thank you for sharing in this Commitment Journey with me and working with me as we take a small pivot in our meditation practice plan. I received quite a few emails regarding a cost associated with the Calm - 21 Days of Meditation Series. As a subscriber I didn't realize this series was locked, but my goal through this challenge was not for you to make a financial investment. The goal was for you to make a time commitment to yourself through yoga and meditation, utilizing resources that had no costs associated.

Meditation and yoga are tow extremely vital components to creating mindfulness and an awakening within your life. It's said that the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discover your why (purpose). Mindfulness creates that awareness to provide you clarity on your purpose, as well as, improves your ability to respond to the various triggers of stress that are thrown at us throughout our everyday lives.

Therefore, the series I have selected for us to use for the remainder of our meditation challenge is an Oprah and Deepak Series - 21 Day Meditation Challenge - The Journey to Perfect Health. I have completed several Oprah and Deepak's meditation challenges and enjoyed all of them. This series has been captured on YouTube, and we are going to gratefully take advantage of the access to this series, while also pursuing a journey to perfect health. In the event you would like to invest in this challenge, use this link!

This challenge will explore the many ways we can take control of our health and well-being.
Week 1 - Gain a better understanding of what our minds and bodies are capable of.
Week 2 - Learn techniques to invite balance into our lives!
Week 3 - Integrate all the techniques to truly begin to live perfect health.

Ok, so that is our mediation game plan! I hope enjoy the series and I look forward to hearing back from you all on new habits you have created through this meditation challenge.

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

One Week of Commitment Complete...On to the Next!

How was the first week of this commitment journey for you? Did you make it every single day?! Did you?! It's ok if you didn't and it's awesome if you did, because we are creating rituals and habits. We are changing and committing to things that aren't the norm. So, everyone isn't going to have smooth sailing or 100% commitment right away. Success in commitment means staying loyal to the process, after the mood has passed! 

Transparency Moment #1. So, my goal was to start a day ahead of you all with my meditations and my yoga...at one point during the 7 days I missed a day and thank God I was ahead. So there was room for grace. My goal is to actually get back ahead of you again and double up this weekend. I know you are probably thinking, why get ahead of us? It can be a little stressful creating content around my Facebook posts when I don't think on it. Yeah, that's all, no real amazing excuse. Lol. Sorry, I failed you. 

Transparency Moment #2...I have been off a bit due to some stress factors in my life causing some focus issues and lack of proper planning of my time. Through that it's been hard to find my creative passion in my photography, quote making, everything. Part of this commitment journey is dedicated to that reboot in life. But this past week I did have to give myself grace in the Instagram space as well. My goal was to prep all my posts for the week, approximately 21, so I could simply post them. Unfortunately I missed the mark on that a couple of times. So to take some anxiety off a process that's supposed to boost morale and also create an awakening within I did  lower the bar a bit. I decided, as of yesterday, I would do only 1-2 posts a day, but at least one to give myself some reprieve and not feel like a complete failure when I didn't follow through.

So, here is a teachable, learnable moment...DON'T BE AFRAID TO PIVOT a bit in your commitment. It doesn't make you a failure. I am not saying completely drop what you committed to, but give yourself some grace. If you said I will do yoga everyday and find the day is winding down, the yoga isn't done...pivot a bit and do maybe a few downward dogs. If you said I will meditate daily and the day gets away from you and you don't make it happen early in the morning, do some deep breath exercises before bed and empty that brain out. If you said I will walk a mile every single day and missed the walk, do some jumping jacks or something active. Just do something to represent you showing up for the day. 

Now, we don't want to make the pivot a habit, right? But we also don't want to drop the commitment completely because of 1 or 2 days (hopefully with space in between them, not consecutively...but I'm not judging, LOL) of missing the mark. We can miss the mark at times and when we are building habits and commitments missing the mark can seem debilitating if you are a perfectionist like me. That's what I don't want to happen. So this commitment journey is also an opportunity to break past perfectionism!

Enjoy the journey...ENJOY THE JOURNEY...Enjoy the Journey. 

Stay grateful...STAY GRATEFUL...Stay grateful. 

Remind yourself why you are doing this...REMIND YOURSELF DAILY WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS...Remind yourself why you are doing this. 

Week 2 begins...
Friday, January 25 is Day 8 of our Commitment journey. If you are meditating with me, you have been using the Calm app and have now completed the "7 Days of Calm." So our next phase of the meditation journey will be "21 Days of Calm" where we deepen our mindfulness and continue to add to our meditation tools. We will also continue our yoga journey with Adriene, completing her 30 day "True" challenge. 

If you didn't start on the same day as I started, please don't feel discouraged to start now. There is no time like the present to began committing to a journey of improving your life emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, financially and so much more! 

I would like to close by expressing gratitude in you embarking on this journey with me and I look forward to hearing how this commitment challenge is working out for you! 


Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

The Success Nonsecret...Commitment

Every quarter I complete this somewhat thorough analysis around various aspects of my life; health, spiritual, financial, business/career, and personal (love/parenting). I use this tool, the Annual Guide Book, provided by fitness professional and thought leader, Trish Blackwell.  Part of this exercise is to evaluate my performance in the previous quarter, identify areas of improvement and set goals. One thing I usually do is select a word to depict what I would like to see in that quarter and then drill down further really quantifying and qualifying what my exact desires are in detail, how I plan to get there and why its important to me. I actually really love that part of the planning process, because the analytical side of me is able to be extremely detail oriented in the documentation and the direct side of me gets to tell my self what a loser I have over the last 3 months. Lol. Totally kidding, I actually do have areas where I "WIN."

In theory it's really a great exercise, BUT when I started the process this year for 2018 first quarter I realized something that I've known for some time, MY COMMITMENT SUCKS! I plan, I start strong, then I let things get in the way. I allow "life" to happen and things take a drastic turn and I don't fulfill all the things I set out to complete. Unfortunately I have to admit I've seen this in other aspects of my life as well, such as with friendships, various projects I've volunteered with...and I can't allow it to continue. I've asked God for "Focus" for some time now and that was even my word for the last quarter of 2017. Yet, in prayer and evaluation, I realized the secret to success in any venture in life is COMMITMENT. Commitment drives all of those other adjectives, verbs and nouns that I've been using over the years. Without commitment, there is no focus. Without commitment, there is no completion. Without commitment, there's a journey that doesn't produce fully desired results.

Let's face it, the journey still exists, but without commitment to the goal in mind it's like driving with no real destination, whether it's yoga 30 days, prayer 40 days, meditation 21 days. So this year, I WANT COMMITMENT. And can I just take a moment to allow my analytical side to chime in...I want commitment in other areas of my life, such as a relationship and deeper friendships, but if I am not giving it, how can I expect it, right?! Basic Law of Attraction working here...therefore commitment will lead to relationships full of reciprocity.

There are 3 major commitments I want to complete over the next 30 days and I am going to use the blog, IG and my Facebook page to make it happen and create accountability. 
1. I want commitment with my Lovelee Motivation blog and Lovelee Motivation Instagram page, because there are so many accountability factors connected to it.
2. I want commitment in my yoga practice, because I always immediately notice the difference in my body and mind when I'm consistent. True - Yoga by Adrienne
3. I want commitment in my meditation practice, because in those treasured moments of calm and meditation, my mind opens up in ways that create this better human in the way I conduct friendships, the way I parent, the way I love others, the way I connect with God and just so much more.

So, for the next 30 days my goal, starting January 19th, is to post daily my meditation practice, my yoga practice and some type of creative inspiration on Facebook and/or IG. I know it's the new year and you're like "So this is your New Years resolution?" This is my life resolution. I have lost really amazing habits and created really terrible habits. So I am COMMITTED to breaking those bad habits in the most vital areas of my life and creating really rich ritual habits to enhance the woman that I am...

Are you interested in increasing your commitment level and making some changes in your life? 
Here's a few tips to help get you started... 
1. Write down your goals. Describe why this change or goal is important to you. 
2. Create some level of accountability with someone. 
3. Start with a small, digestible time limit to deliver on this goal. Like start with 21-30 days, re-evaluate after that time, then start again with another 30 days. 
4. Plan, plan, plan. Whether it's a new diet lifestyle, workout plan, a new morning ritual, whatever it is, make sure to plan a day ahead for what you will do tomorrow. Planning reduces opportunities to not commit. Mark off that time in the day to complete your goal, wake up in the morning, review your schedule and set your intentions to get it done!

As I referenced in the beginning of my blog I really LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Trish Blackwell's Annual Guide Book. It gives you that full view of what you are going for and what you want to accomplish. If you are into podcasts she has also done many podcasts on how to accomplish goals and so much more. Please check out her site for her "Confidence on the Go" podcasts episodes.  

So Friday, January 19, 2018,  is the big day...You may say "Why wait till Friday?!" Because I want to, lol...and are you really going to let a day of the week dictate your journey towards improving your life, your soul, your body and your mentality? 

I look forward to taking this journey with you!

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!
Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

Buffering...

We are in control of how we respond to an event we can't control. 

My life is currently in a buffer. Do you ever feel that way? Like things pause, but they are trying to be in motion and you are STUCK on this one action and NEED it move forward to the next scene. But no, that one action, that one situation that you really don't want to deep dive into has that freaking icon on it...IT'S BUFFERING. Right now I am in a scene with the buffer circle and I want to break it! 

I've cried, I've gotten angry on the inside, I've taking my meds and I've PRAYED. So now what? Maybe I stop hitting the mouse and the keyboards and I ask myself "why?" And here I am blogging. Why is this happening? What am I supposed to learn from this devastating situation completely out of my control? How do I move forward? 

That's usually the process right? When the computer stalls, the YouTube video buffers, life gets crazy...What do we do? Our normal instincts are to go into fix-it mode, which sometimes leads to frustration, i.e. throwing an innocent mouse across the room. But how about, SURRENDER? Surrendering gives us a chance to reclaim our sanity. We are in control of how we respond to an event we can't control. We are in the position to walk away, breathe and analyze. Sometimes its hitting a hard reset and sometimes it's answering hard questions. 

So today in my pain, in my fury, as my life buffers, I walk away, I breathe and I ask...
Why is this happening God? What do you want me to learn from it? How do I move forward?

Buffer moments...sometimes simple...sometimes complex...
Why didn't I get that job? Why didn't that relationship work out? Why did my child make that poor decision? Why did I spend my hard earned bill money on a non-essential item that I can't return? Why can't my baby daddy behave and pay child support? Why is may manager making my life a living H-E-double hockey sticks? 

There's beauty in the buffer. There's insight in the buffer. Appreciate the buffer...

How do you handle your buffer moments? Be honest? Do you scream? Do you take it out on innocent bystanders, friends, and loved ones? I do sometimes...a matter of fact before I surrendered I started to block all of my friends who were not responding to my buffer the way I wanted them to respond. (Don't judge me!) Do you hurt yourself verbally or physically? 

I challenge you today, tonight, this moment to handle your current or next buffer from a space of grace and control. Step away. Breathe. Analyze. Can I be honest...when I don't do those things or let's say when I attempt to, but don't fully commit, then I hurt myself physically, I cut. Why, because I can control the cut, I can control the depth of the blade entrance, I can control the placement, I can control the quantity. But then I don't get to enjoy the buffer...a matter of fact, after the cutting ends I'm still buffering. The situation still exists.  

So take my challenge, rise to the occasion and love yourself, LOVE THAT FREAKING BUFFER, give it the tightest hug and show that buffer gratitude. I showed my buffer gratitude today and it was HARD. I can't tell my buffer situation, because it involves my child and that's a violation of her privacy. But it was a huge buffer. But I journaled through it and even though I am still weak from the buffer, the video is starting to play again, the website is beginning to load everything on the page. And remember what God told us is Matthew 11:28, Amplified version, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]."

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!
Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).