Listening to Your Body...Giving Yourself Grace

Wow, so it's been a couples of weeks since I blogged. Honestly, I took on too much too fast, my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flared and my body said, "NO MORE!" Over the past couple of years I've learned to listen to my body when it does that, because trying to produce quality work when you are not functioning at your best usually doesn't work out. It also drives my anxiety into overdrive.

Normally I would have really mentally badgered myself over not blogging and starting this process and not being consistent, but I became the Honey Badger (A.D.D. moment where you can meet the Honey badger) and basically didn't care about anything but myself. I trusted what was right for me and whether I would best serve you in a frazzled, overwhelmed, completely exhausted state. That's part of this process of overcoming depression for me, being confident in the decisions I make and ensuring that I am treating myself with grace and love.

During depression, that is often something we neglect doing. We really beat ourselves up and get in a mode of identifying negatives and areas that we feel we have failed. Yet, as I am being more graceful with myself I took this 2 weeks to really appreciate and be grateful for how well I cared about myself. Yes, I had moments of disappointment with taking on so much and not being able to perfect my time management, but I dug deep to redirect that thinking. And sometimes the easiest thing to do in the evenings, when I found myself completely upset that I hadn't accomplished something, was throw in the towel and go to bed! It's not always bad to throw in the towel. Throwing in the towel can also be an expression of love to your body!! And an expression of divine love, is actually grace.

So, this is a short blog as I get back in the routine of things. A matter of fact, after I post this blog, one of the things on my list is really developing my routine including my added responsibilities I have taken on this quarter. But just remember to listen to your body. We are moving into the holiday season where we all push ourselves too much in an effort to do for others. That's all well in good, but don't allow your mind to push you into overdrive and into a negative mindset when you just can't do it all!! We don't have to do it all, we don't have to be perfect. We just need to hold ourselves to a standard of grace!!

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Acknowledge Your Path...

Doing this blog I feel like I am on a tightrope and I could fall off at any moment. There is a part of me that wants to live in only the positive and provide all these awesome words of encouragement and motivation. I want to tell you that everything could be changed just like "that" and that we should look to God to get us through it all. All of that is true, but I feel like in doing that I am doing a disservice to the power of depression. That I could some how make someone that is deep in their struggle with depression feel weak. There are times where I struggle. There are times where I feel weak.

So, this blog has me so perplexed and I have found myself spending a lot of time in prayer in order to properly deliver an authentic message from my heart. I don't want to do someone an injustice and provide story of gum drops and fairy tales, while at the same time I don't want to give the devil delight and make him feel like he is winning. But one thing I realized today, as I sat on my couch, crying and trying to pray and meditate on how to deal with my pain, I have to acknowledge my path. 

I do feel pain. I feel sad. I've cried quite a bit the last few days and it's been so frustrating. I've struggled to understand why things had to happen the way they did. Why I was placed in a position to hurt so much. I am just a mother trying to raise 3 children. Why do I have to go through this?  Was this a necessary process to show me how to love myself? As I traveled down that dark tunnel of questions and pain I wanted to cut for a second, to make those feelings go away. But I pushed through.

I went to my daily declarations that I had written in my journal earlier in the morning. One in particular resonated with me, Philippians 4:8, "Today I will think on those things that are true, honest, pure, lovely and of a good report." A lot of days can be a battlefield of the mind when dealing with depression. Everything has to be intentional. Sometimes I fall and cry, sit in a closet and just think on some of the negative things that are happening or have happened to me.  Then I pull myself together, and think on things that are true, honest, pure, lovely and of a good report. One thing I can't do is just sit in it. I can't sit in that puddle of misery for too long because that doesn't get me anywhere.

See, that's my path right now. I'm in the midst of this journey with depression. I'm winning. I tell myself #DepressionNoMore. Yet, thoughts can still come. They can creep up on me at the most unexpected times. In those moments we are allowed to feel what is happening, but we have to choose how to respond. We have the power to do that, we really do, but it can be exhausting.  Yet, the more we push through, the more that muscle of resilience is developed. I pushed through today and tomorrow is a new day and it will be even more amazing!

My point in this blog is that we don't have to rush through our struggle. I don't have to tell you a story of results that haven't occurred for me yet. I have to acknowledge my path.  It's in the journey that we learn the lesson, not at the end and certainly not the beginning. Take time today and acknowledge where you are and tell God thank you. Tell God thank you, because you are right where you are supposed to be in this moment.

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

5 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

A lot of times when we have someone in our life going through depression we can have the best intentions in mind and end up doing some of the worst things. The use of words in these situations can be extremely important. The Bible says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." Below are ways to support someone with depression.

1. Be present. 
One thing that is easily noticeable when you are going through depression is loneliness. You can feel alone even when you aren't. So, make an extra effort to just be present for your friends when they are going through depression. A simple texts, email, phone call, or a card, just to let them know you are there. This can be reassuring and possibly help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Never minimize their pain.
I see this a lot with Christians. I love my God and I can't tell you how many times I am told to just trust God and this whole "depression thing" will resolve itself. Take a step back and realize there is a lot of things happening here, and when you tell a depressed Christian to "trust God." It can actually catapult them into something worse. It gives off the implication that they don't trust God and they are doing this to themselves, when depression is much bigger. Be supportive in your words. Pray for your fellow Christians through their depression and reassure them that God loves them!

3. Educate yourself on depression.
Everyone's way of dealing with depression can be different and really can adjust based on phases in their lives. So, educate yourself. I can attest to when I was younger and dealing with depression I like to shut out my feelings and just be tough about it. Yet, as I have evolved more as a woman and mother I am more connected with what I am feeling. So, now I find more solace in expressing myself and growing through what I am going through. If you really want to be a supportive friend, family member, partner, etc., take the time to read up on depression.

4. Turn off your comparison meter!
When I am depressed, I will be honest, I could care less how you would handle a situation, because if implementation were that easy, would I be here right now? I don't want to be depressed!!! Just turn off your comparison meter for a little while and listen. Be reassuring and if you have to speak, simply repeating what they are saying in an effort to understand is a great exercise. This allows them to know you are listening and it can actually resonate with them and possibly create an opportunity for them to hear how they may be approaching something from a negative perspective.

5. Avoid offering advice. 
Unless you are a licensed psychiatrist, therapist, certified life coach, or was specifically asked, keep your advice to a minimum. When someone is dealing with depression, they are dealing with it, not you. Don't use this time to utilize your "fix it" skills. I can take this advice myself. I am a fix it person. I tend to want to fix things for people in my life, but with depression, utilize your listening skills. Just allow the person to express themselves when they reach out to you. There can be a fine line here, because I am going to speak from someone who has dealt with depression personally and also had friends who were depressed. People can often live in their story and about that 15th time of hearing them express the same thing over again, it can be taxing. This is a time where I will tell you listen to God and your heart. The last thing we need is to be pulled into something that will make weaken own mental stability. But again, don't offer advice on how YOU would handle a situation.

These are just 5 ways that have been extremely important to me as I have walked through my depression. Please feel free to comment with more tips, as a depressed person or a person dealing with someone with depression. In order to do better, we must know better.

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).