1. Be present.
One thing that is easily noticeable when you are going through depression is loneliness. You can feel alone even when you aren't. So, make an extra effort to just be present for your friends when they are going through depression. A simple texts, email, phone call, or a card, just to let them know you are there. This can be reassuring and possibly help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.
2. Never minimize their pain.
I see this a lot with Christians. I love my God and I can't tell you how many times I am told to just trust God and this whole "depression thing" will resolve itself. Take a step back and realize there is a lot of things happening here, and when you tell a depressed Christian to "trust God." It can actually catapult them into something worse. It gives off the implication that they don't trust God and they are doing this to themselves, when depression is much bigger. Be supportive in your words. Pray for your fellow Christians through their depression and reassure them that God loves them!
3. Educate yourself on depression.
Everyone's way of dealing with depression can be different and really can adjust based on phases in their lives. So, educate yourself. I can attest to when I was younger and dealing with depression I like to shut out my feelings and just be tough about it. Yet, as I have evolved more as a woman and mother I am more connected with what I am feeling. So, now I find more solace in expressing myself and growing through what I am going through. If you really want to be a supportive friend, family member, partner, etc., take the time to read up on depression.
4. Turn off your comparison meter!
When I am depressed, I will be honest, I could care less how you would handle a situation, because if implementation were that easy, would I be here right now? I don't want to be depressed!!! Just turn off your comparison meter for a little while and listen. Be reassuring and if you have to speak, simply repeating what they are saying in an effort to understand is a great exercise. This allows them to know you are listening and it can actually resonate with them and possibly create an opportunity for them to hear how they may be approaching something from a negative perspective.
5. Avoid offering advice.
Unless you are a licensed psychiatrist, therapist, certified life coach, or was specifically asked, keep your advice to a minimum. When someone is dealing with depression, they are dealing with it, not you. Don't use this time to utilize your "fix it" skills. I can take this advice myself. I am a fix it person. I tend to want to fix things for people in my life, but with depression, utilize your listening skills. Just allow the person to express themselves when they reach out to you. There can be a fine line here, because I am going to speak from someone who has dealt with depression personally and also had friends who were depressed. People can often live in their story and about that 15th time of hearing them express the same thing over again, it can be taxing. This is a time where I will tell you listen to God and your heart. The last thing we need is to be pulled into something that will make weaken own mental stability. But again, don't offer advice on how YOU would handle a situation.
These are just 5 ways that have been extremely important to me as I have walked through my depression. Please feel free to comment with more tips, as a depressed person or a person dealing with someone with depression. In order to do better, we must know better.
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P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
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