Consistency Challenge Reboot #Dr Sims #ConsistencyChallenge

Long time no blog!!! So, I will keep this short, because it's rather late and I didn't plan to blog at 1 a.m. on a Saturday, but hey when God encourages you to do something you should do it! "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but an habit." Monday I started a consistency challenge, because I needed to sleep people. I was CONSISTENTLY starving myself of rest and my body was suffering. When your body suffers your mind suffers, your behavior suffers, your commitment suffers, your productivity, your creativity. I just needed a reboot!

So, with the encouragement of my Life Coach Dr. Walter Sims I chose to be in bed by 10 p.m. every night, read a small devotion, followed by sleep by 10:30. I did that until today, which was a bit intentional. I can actually work late on Friday nights because I don't have to wake up at 4 a.m. to get to work by 6 a.m.. With all that being said, consistency has truly resonated with me these past 5 days. What I found was in an effort to be consistent I was really restrictive of my schedule and my time and what got my focus. I also allowed myself to not do it all. It was a true moment of self love and I felt it. I really felt the difference. 

Take the challenge, pick ONE THING, that you will do consistently for 7 days. I know, I know, the rule of thumb is it takes 21 days to create a habit, but just start with 7. And can I just say, sleep was my focus, but it turned into devotion, time with God, creating beautiful image quotes for Lovelee Motivation again, all from sleep! So, don't get caught up with "I only picked one thing, I need to do 3." I can promise you that one thing, will catapult into more and you will take a step back and see that it wasn't just ONE THING! It's Saturday, do this ONE THING for yourself. Lol. Love yourself and be consistent. 

Enjoy your weekend! Hopefully with consistency I will be back with more eventful blogs in the coming days. 

Are You Failing at Your Future?

Happy Thursday!!! I hope your week had an amazing start and that you are walking in it consciously and aware of your purpose. Going through the motions can suck, but when you have a plan and a strategy, it creates such clarity. Last week I dealt with a topic that had been a struggle for me and that was self-forgiveness. My ability to not forgive myself stemmed from events in my life that I held on to as my identity instead of something that happened. As humans we can do that, we can allow a mistake to define who we are instead of moving forward. We allow our experiences to dictate our future which can lead to poor decisions in relationships, careers, life, and our future in general.

It's so imperative that we heal from this way of thinking. God doesn't hold on to our sins, he forgives us immediately. We have to believe in our future, let go of our past and stay mindful of the present. Depression and anxiety is a result of living in the past. Yet, the past is the past. If we are present and operating in what is happening right now, today, not that relationship from 3 months ago, but today, not that poor career decision we made a few years ago, we are no longer bound to our past. We are able to look and believe we have a great future.

Letting go of the past does require acknowledgement and acceptance of your responsibility in what happened, but once you have achieved this, the sky is the limit! You are now able to freely focus on your future without confusion. Because when we are bound by our past its difficult to create a plan or a strategy, as we are basing our future on our past experiences. When you have an opportunity, take some time and really identify some of the things from your past that are holding you hostage. I have things I deal with till this day such as perfectionism, rejection, and abandonment. By making myself aware of those things, accepting that I have been holding on to them and intentionally working to release them, that has allowed my future to become so much brighter. It's left little room for depression because I haven't focused on what was, but what is to come!

Hold on to hope for your future, not the darkness and emptiness of your past. In 
Jeremiah 29:11, we are told that God is aware of his plans for us, plans of hope. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Therefore, don't exclude God from your plans. He promises to prosper us!! That's so exciting to know that God wants us to have a prosperous life!! And as stated in Psalms 25:3, by placing hope in Him, we will never be put to shame.

Finish the week off strong with a sense of hope! Don't quit, don't give up, and don't write off your future with an F+! Deal with your past, let go of it, appreciate your present, and have hope in your future!

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!
Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Self Love, Got Some?

Happy Hump Day!! We are half way through the week and I am feeling pretty pumped. Why am I so pumped? Uh, because I am like living, breathing, moving through the world with a sound mind! I get excited when I think about where I was mentally and emotionally 3-4 months ago in comparison to right now! 

I left off in my last blog touching on that awakening moment where I realized that I hadn't forgiven myself, which was leading to my depression. Picking back up from that place, I had been working on truly submitting to God, being more obedient with my time and my heart and listening when He would speak in my life. I was interceding diligently for my ex, a relationship that at the time I felt had left me broken. There was some verbal, mental and emotional abuse in that relationship which had left an imprint on my heart. Yet, my goal was to forgive and pray through that situation. I didn't want that relationship to be what would mark me from having a successful relationship in the future. I hadn't given up on love!

So, one night as I was on my knees, in my prayer closet, in true submission to God, I became so upset, because I had been praying and interceding for this person and I was still depressed. I wanted good things for them even though they were continuing to take actions that were devastating and hurtful to me and my finances. I cried out to God and asked Him why He wouldn't heal me from this pain and He told me so clearly, it's because I hadn't forgiven myself. 

That statement was so true and words so clear, that I literally just stopped crying. It was like the scenario of the toddler having a tantrum for candy, then when you give it to them they are immediately placed in a calm state. I hadn't forgiven myself. I was extremely angry with myself. I was so mad for choosing THAT person and going down THAT road.  A moment of transparency here: I met this person in April 2015 and in May 2015 God was VERY CLEAR that this person was not right for me. He was so clear that I wrote it in my journal, but you know what I did? I humanized it and explained it away. I told myself what God meant was…this relationship wouldn't work if I didn't change things about myself and this person didn't change things about themselves. I made it doable in my head. That wasn't fair for the other person, as they didn't know those plans and the expectations I had placed on them to fix some of the hurtful things they were doing in the relationship. 

What was happening was that I was so busy trying to meet a personal timeline of what I wanted in my life, that I failed to see that God knew what I needed. So, here I was now in January 2016, on my knees, heart broken, soul broken, mentally drained, completely pissed at myself for making that decision and I didn’t forgive myself. I was allowing this failed situation to define my identity, instead of looking at it as a failed event in my life. Why? Why was I taken this so hard? Because I didn't understand my worth. I didn't love myself. 

One of the most momentous and valuable decisions you can ever make in your life is discovering your worth and having an all encompassing love for yourself. I don't mean the love that involves a huge ego and arrogance. But the love where you love yourself through your mistakes, your flaws, your imperfections and also all the amazingly awesome things about yourself. I wasn't at that place with myself and when you aren't there, this affects so many facets of your life. It shows up in the quality of our relationships, career, faith and more. That's what had happened to me. I had accepted an abusive relationship because I thought I wasn't worthy of being with someone who spoke to me with respect. I thought, this person is so financially sound and will love my children unconditionally, so the least I can do is accept the flaws about them, because no one is perfect. 

Unfortunately it isn't that easy, because when we compromise love and respect for ourselves so many things suffer. We lose ourselves, we lose our purpose, we began to numb ourselves by shutting down. We lose our minds! Then before you know it, we are using medications to fix things that should be dealt with through the process of elimination. So, that night, on my knees, I knew I had work to do and Operation Learn to Love Myself began.

So, how do we began to work through that? How do we learn to love ourselves? First, we have to have a discovery period of what got us to this place. That means taking some time and looking at our past, from childhood issues, old beliefs and thoughts, as well as past events. Next, we have to escape the comparison trap. Society has placed this subconscious pressure on us to deliver the best on all these social media platforms. We find ourselves defining our worth based on materials, status, youth, money, attractiveness and romantic relationships. Finally, we have to shift our perspective. Again, not letting failures define our identity, but finding the value in the experience. 

God wants us to be happy and successful, yet we place limits on Him through the creation of our own timelines and expectations! We have to get excited about our future, understand our purpose and not be bound to our past. God promised to give us beauty for our ashes and it's our job to trust Him and know that the Best IS YET TO COME! 

If you are dealing with a lack of self-love I hope this blog was able to help you lay the ground work in building that love up for yourself. Remember that hurt people, hurt people. Therefore, make it your job to heal you so that you are able to present yourself wholly in your friendships, career, romantic relationship, etc.. 

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God! 

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

The Freaking F Word!

Happy Monday! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoyed their Valentine’s Day! Although I didn’t have a Valentine I did have a date with myself and Monica Van Daneede who hosted a Valentine’s webinar on “Contentment and Singleness.” It was pretty awesome and you should check her out . She is an amazing woman of God, with a blog and Periscope that always offers great God filled content. But back my blog and as promised, I told you we would get into that F-word!

What is Forgiveness?

So, just laying some ground work in the action of forgiveness. It is defined as the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.  One of the immediate things I began to work on after my last break up was forgiveness. The last thing I wanted was to have hatred towards a person that would leave a negative blemish in my heart. I would like to say I can be "pretty good with the F-Word, maybe 7 out of 10...depends on the person. Random thought, do you find it harder to forgive family then people that aren't blood? Ok, let me continue, we can circle back to that.

Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to...

When we forgive, it doesn’t mean forgetting, condoning or excusing offenses.  Forgiving my ex didn’t mean I was excusing the verbal and emotional abuse that I had accepted in that relationship. Also forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are condoning their behavior or even that you must reconcile the relationship. I am completely content with never having a friendship with my ex again. There are times where we have to recognize actions and behavior of an individual that are completely unhealthy for us and them. Therefore, some things are just better not rehashed or relived.  We should never expose ourselves to people, places, things that don’t ultimately bring us to a positive result.  That means purging and moving forward!

Why is it important we forgive?

Forgive for a sound mind!! Have you ever noticed how forgiving someone just brought peace of mind? When you forgive, you are able to release those feelings of depression, anger, resentment and replace them with gratefulness, love and happiness. And forgiving those that have wronged me allowed me to appreciate the good characteristics about that person. Let’s face it, none of us are perfect and we all have good qualities within us. 

Walking in unforgiveness we tend to focus on all the negative, but once you forgive you can revisit the situation from a totally different perspective. Looking back in my previous relationship I can now appreciate all the great experiences I was exposed to during that commitment. We had amazing weekend family activities with our kids, a lovely trip to Miami, a great weekend in the mountains and just lots of fun! Everything wasn’t bad and I could only take that in when I implemented forgiveness.

And did you know that unforgiveness can manifest as poison within your body? Various studies have shown holding grudges effects our immune system.  It's been linked to cancer! This is serious. We have to let go of things and release them so that our body can function in a healthy space and we can fend off negativity such as depression. 

But what happens when you don’t forgive yourself? That has been my biggest issue the last couple of months. I didn’t realize it at first.  I was so focused on forgiving the wrongs that had been done to me and ensuring I held no resentment towards that person. I was interceding for them in prayer every night, wishing them nothing but continued blessings in their life. But I was still struggling with my depression, till one night I found myself crying out to God as I prayed, asking him once again to heal me of my depression. To give me beauty for my ashes and that’s when God said,” Well not until you forgive yourself Sharonda.” I just sat there with my tears and my pain and I realized, I didn’t like myself. 

And that clearly sets me up for my next blog on working towards "Forgiving Ourselves."  I want to further tell my story regarding the resentment I had built up towards myself due to my own actions and delve into why we don’t forgive ourselves and later get into some steps I have had to take to move into the direction of self-forgiveness. 

What are some things that you have had to let go of to move into a positive space lately? 

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Go.Set.Ready.

 Hello, it's been a while since I have blogged. I have been in such a deep place of prayer and reconnecting with God, that I just put blogging to the side. I wrote blogs, but I didn't feel moved to post them. 

So, to catch you up, I started a prayer challenge in December, then picked it up again with a friend in January, aiming for more accountability. It has been a great experience, I have grown closer to God. But it also gave me a sense of stall. I didn't want to do anything till I had it figured out. What does God want me to do, with my blog, with my photography, with my life? It was like I was doing all this research and prayer, but not moving. I couldn't figure out if that was me being lazy or Him causing the stall? 

Well last week I read a chapter in my prayer challenge about being "ready." We are never really ready, yet the saying is "Ready, Set, Go" when in actuality is should be "Go, Set, Ready." So, after more prayer, God placed it on my heart to start blogging again and I just didn't really know what to say. I didn't know where to start, but God advised me he would give me the words. And that's where I've been.

I don't feel quite ready, because I'm still in the struggle of mental stability. Yet, that was the whole purpose of this blog, to take you through my journey with depression and life. I have had some major self discovery in the last couple of months, as I struggled with self-forgiveness and discontentment.  It's been a process. Sometimes we try to make ourselves a victim of our circumstances and although I have tried to not do that, I internalized it in a way of criticizing my decisions and really not forgiving myself for not listening to God. So, I did make myself into a victim and created bouts of depression. 

But, here I am "Go. Ready. Set." I feel stronger today then I felt 2 weeks ago, a month ago, 2 months ago, 3 months ago. But it's still a journey and you can join me as I work through deliverance from discontentment and forgiveness. It's already been an incredibly healing process in just the last couple of weeks. Depression doesn't just come. No illness just arrives. We are exposed to something, whether it's a germs to get a cold or bad food for a stomach ache, there is always a cause and being aware and conquering the true "why"" will moves us closer to deliverance. God, never wanted us to live a life of instability! He wants us to have a sound mind. 

In my next blog I will share with you ways to move towards forgiving yourself and claiming your self worth. Sometimes we don't feel worthy, and there are many reasons for that and we will dig in and find ways to conquer those demons. 

Happy Valentines Day!! 
Even if you aren't currently coupled, remember God loves you and I'm also sending lots of virtual love your way!

Amazing Things Within Your Reach!

Happy Monday! For some of us we have been enjoying a holiday full of days off and probably have the joy of returning back to work today! Then for those like me, we spent the holidays working our butts off and are glad to be seeing some type of schedule normalcy returning. I hope everyone enjoyed their New Year and was able to set some great intentions for the year, as well as begin their goal setting. I usually set my goals for about 30-90 days. This allows me to see some type of return in a short amount of time and gives me that extra push to do more and accomplish more, or reevaluate what I am actually striving to reach.

I am well into my prayer challenge and although I will not be blogging daily for this challenge, I did want to hit particular topics that resonated with me. My intention this year when it came to my relationship with God is to really die to self and allow him to move through me more. When I started this challenge back in December, I found that as I gave God more of myself barriers were broken and my approach to life became a little more simplistic.

The truth is that God wants us to devote ourselves to Him and then amazing things will happen. Now, I don't want you mislead you and make it seem as if there were nothing but rainbows and butterflies in my life the last month. Yet,  as challenges were swung my way, I was able to effectively handle them without feeling like my life was ending. Every night as I circled various topics in my life that were somewhat overwhelming, I saw God begin to expose and close off those things as if he had put out an executive order and said "No more!"

A couple of things happened, such as my ex fraudulently reporting my engagement ring stolen, which I had been told was a gift, placing me in the position to have something in my possession that was no longer of value financially or emotionally. Next, a vehicle that I had placed in my name, but was under the possession of my ex, was all of a sudden dropped in my lap in an unexpected plot twist. Again, something I was totally not expecting, a car payment I was mentally prepared for and we also had a written agreement saying that the vehicle would be purchased, paid for and out of my name by January 2016. Oh yeah, did I mention this was the holidays.

Well, had those things happened in October, there is no doubt I would have been sent over the edge, probably done some self mutilation and dropped into a depression. BUT GOD! Honestly, BUT GOD! God wants nothing but the best for us, He simply wants us to dedicate ourselves to him, so that we can be open to all of his blessings.

Can I mention that in December I was coming off of Zoloft, a process of weaning I had already started early November and that I had taken on 2 full time jobs, as well as a part-time job. This was a period where my anxiety should have been at an all time high, but because I chose God and I chose to consecrate myself in Him, I made it through those challenges. So, I leave that with you all, "The more we give God, the more we have, and the more we become."

There are amazing things within your reach if you give God the time. This prayer challenge isn't about me seeing amazing results of things I wanted in the end, but more so about me reconnecting with God allowing Him to give more of Himself to me. Join me in this prayer challenge and feel free to comment on testimonies or things you are circling in your prayer life.

This blog started about my journey with depression, but is now evolving more into how I have dealt with my depression with God's assistance. And let me mention, although I still have heavy days, they have been few and far between.  I currently only take Klonopin for situational anxiety, but I have been putting a lot of energy into more "natural remedies" which I would love to share in another blog . Yet for  anyone still really in the eye of the storm with their struggle with depression, I circle you in prayer. I pray that you are able to find the strength in God to face each day and pass those burdens to Him. I remember being "in it" and it seemed so difficult to imagine a world where I could not be depressed, but the intentional mindset I have had to maintain, along with my relationship with God has taken me so far.

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations, inspirations and also to see the daily Prayer Challenge topic!

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Happy New Year!!! I'm Back...

Hey people! So, I had to take a much needed hiatus, because I simply took on way too much 4th quarter. I was working 2 full-time jobs, helping someone with their social media for their business and something had to take a back seat. Unfortunately, it was this blog. I wrote a few blogs during that time, but I didn't post them because I felt they were just driven to strongly by emotion and exhaustion. In my case when those 2 elements collided, I felt they almost launched an attack on what I was dealing with at the time. The end result of the blog didn't sit well with me.

So, here we are in 2016 and I would love to set some intentions on this blog for the new year! Um, last year when I started this blog I was on on my way out of a very deep depression. I wasn't really sure how to approach, but I wanted, at least thought I did, to blog through it. My issue, that I didn't want to "sit in it." Therefore, I really get as deep as I needed to last year with my depression, because I was afraid it would make stay there...all the analyzing. I do want to share that story though, and I am going to do that this year.

In the last 3 months I came off of Zoloft. I was really depressed, I dug in deep with God and battled the hell out of it, and in the last month have worked so hard on developing a strong, fervent prayer life. So, with that being said, I will be taking you through the book I actually started in December and have restarted for this blog and my IG feed. When I started this prayer challenge in the beginning of December I actually started it alone, but I now have one of my really good friends doing the challenge with me. Just in the few days we have dedicated to it, our conversations have been so fulfilling and I've been so transparent.

In my blog this year, I am pushing towards more transparency and I want to touch at least 2000 individuals with my blog. I don't know how, that's for God to figure out, but I am going to do the work to make it happen! The book I am reading is called Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge. It would be great for you to join me on this journey and draw some circles around things in  your life! 

I hope today was an awesome first day of the year for you! Remember to set some intentions for the year, not goals, INTENTIONS. The goals come next, but lay out some really amazing, BIG things you would like to happen this year, don't try to figure out how it will happen, just know that you want it to happen. Happy 2016!

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).