Honesty...a Relationship Worth Saving

How many times do we ask for honesty in a relationship?  The absence of honesty is normally that deal breaker or leads to an event that causes friction or ends a relationship. Yet, have you ever consider how honest you are with yourself? Let's be "honest"...how many of us avoid honesty when it comes to ourselves?  It's like we make a concerted effort to live a lie, even when the lie will not benefit us in the end! Crazy right? So, we won't accept lies from others, family, and more, but we will lie to ourselves.

In Chapter 1 of Uninvited, the author taps into how we fear honesty because we are afraid of "honesty's intention to expose and hurt us" so it gives us those mental signals of "danger, danger." But the truth is...our relationship with honesty is worth saving. When we are honest with ourselves we are able to discover those areas of misalignment, like dealing with the spirit of rejection. And when we identify and conquer the root of those areas of misalignment, we are put in the position to heal, develop a strong relationship with God and live a purpose driven life!. "Honesty isn't trying to hurt me. It's trying to heal me."

Let's think about that...there are so many situations where we will be in a relationship, whether friendship or dating and when it turns sour we will look back on signals we chose to ignore. The character attributes, behavior, personality cues and more that a person showed us and we neglected. We chose to create a facade of all the good things that we thought a person brought into our lives totally removing the downward spiral that was possible.


Is it time to renew you relationship with honesty? Whether its in poor habits, studying, eating, working, etc. it's time for truth serum. Date honesty, open the door for transparency and give it permission to reveal to you those areas of misalignment in your life so that you can began to implement a better strategy to get back on track. Personally, I know that if I just took the time to focus and eliminated distractions, i.e. Netflix, tv, randomness, I would be so much better for it in my blogging, my photography, my homeschooling of my child, even my work as an employee in my full-time job.


I challenge you this week to pursue honest moments with yourself. Start small and look at those truth you try to avoid. Be honest with yourself, just as you expect others to be honest with you, because then and only then will you align those areas in your life that are off. Going through the motions and ignoring what's happening doesn't lead to better results. A matter of fact, that could simply lead to the same results and then we have madness, then anxiety, then depression...must I go on? That relationship with honesty, so worth saving especially when you consider the path it can guide you towards.

I dare you to fall in love with honesty this week...

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

Meditation Challenge Pivot! New 21 day plan challenge...

Thank you for sharing in this Commitment Journey with me and working with me as we take a small pivot in our meditation practice plan. I received quite a few emails regarding a cost associated with the Calm - 21 Days of Meditation Series. As a subscriber I didn't realize this series was locked, but my goal through this challenge was not for you to make a financial investment. The goal was for you to make a time commitment to yourself through yoga and meditation, utilizing resources that had no costs associated.

Meditation and yoga are tow extremely vital components to creating mindfulness and an awakening within your life. It's said that the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discover your why (purpose). Mindfulness creates that awareness to provide you clarity on your purpose, as well as, improves your ability to respond to the various triggers of stress that are thrown at us throughout our everyday lives.

Therefore, the series I have selected for us to use for the remainder of our meditation challenge is an Oprah and Deepak Series - 21 Day Meditation Challenge - The Journey to Perfect Health. I have completed several Oprah and Deepak's meditation challenges and enjoyed all of them. This series has been captured on YouTube, and we are going to gratefully take advantage of the access to this series, while also pursuing a journey to perfect health. In the event you would like to invest in this challenge, use this link!

This challenge will explore the many ways we can take control of our health and well-being.
Week 1 - Gain a better understanding of what our minds and bodies are capable of.
Week 2 - Learn techniques to invite balance into our lives!
Week 3 - Integrate all the techniques to truly begin to live perfect health.

Ok, so that is our mediation game plan! I hope enjoy the series and I look forward to hearing back from you all on new habits you have created through this meditation challenge.

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

The Success Nonsecret...Commitment

Every quarter I complete this somewhat thorough analysis around various aspects of my life; health, spiritual, financial, business/career, and personal (love/parenting). I use this tool, the Annual Guide Book, provided by fitness professional and thought leader, Trish Blackwell.  Part of this exercise is to evaluate my performance in the previous quarter, identify areas of improvement and set goals. One thing I usually do is select a word to depict what I would like to see in that quarter and then drill down further really quantifying and qualifying what my exact desires are in detail, how I plan to get there and why its important to me. I actually really love that part of the planning process, because the analytical side of me is able to be extremely detail oriented in the documentation and the direct side of me gets to tell my self what a loser I have over the last 3 months. Lol. Totally kidding, I actually do have areas where I "WIN."

In theory it's really a great exercise, BUT when I started the process this year for 2018 first quarter I realized something that I've known for some time, MY COMMITMENT SUCKS! I plan, I start strong, then I let things get in the way. I allow "life" to happen and things take a drastic turn and I don't fulfill all the things I set out to complete. Unfortunately I have to admit I've seen this in other aspects of my life as well, such as with friendships, various projects I've volunteered with...and I can't allow it to continue. I've asked God for "Focus" for some time now and that was even my word for the last quarter of 2017. Yet, in prayer and evaluation, I realized the secret to success in any venture in life is COMMITMENT. Commitment drives all of those other adjectives, verbs and nouns that I've been using over the years. Without commitment, there is no focus. Without commitment, there is no completion. Without commitment, there's a journey that doesn't produce fully desired results.

Let's face it, the journey still exists, but without commitment to the goal in mind it's like driving with no real destination, whether it's yoga 30 days, prayer 40 days, meditation 21 days. So this year, I WANT COMMITMENT. And can I just take a moment to allow my analytical side to chime in...I want commitment in other areas of my life, such as a relationship and deeper friendships, but if I am not giving it, how can I expect it, right?! Basic Law of Attraction working here...therefore commitment will lead to relationships full of reciprocity.

There are 3 major commitments I want to complete over the next 30 days and I am going to use the blog, IG and my Facebook page to make it happen and create accountability. 
1. I want commitment with my Lovelee Motivation blog and Lovelee Motivation Instagram page, because there are so many accountability factors connected to it.
2. I want commitment in my yoga practice, because I always immediately notice the difference in my body and mind when I'm consistent. True - Yoga by Adrienne
3. I want commitment in my meditation practice, because in those treasured moments of calm and meditation, my mind opens up in ways that create this better human in the way I conduct friendships, the way I parent, the way I love others, the way I connect with God and just so much more.

So, for the next 30 days my goal, starting January 19th, is to post daily my meditation practice, my yoga practice and some type of creative inspiration on Facebook and/or IG. I know it's the new year and you're like "So this is your New Years resolution?" This is my life resolution. I have lost really amazing habits and created really terrible habits. So I am COMMITTED to breaking those bad habits in the most vital areas of my life and creating really rich ritual habits to enhance the woman that I am...

Are you interested in increasing your commitment level and making some changes in your life? 
Here's a few tips to help get you started... 
1. Write down your goals. Describe why this change or goal is important to you. 
2. Create some level of accountability with someone. 
3. Start with a small, digestible time limit to deliver on this goal. Like start with 21-30 days, re-evaluate after that time, then start again with another 30 days. 
4. Plan, plan, plan. Whether it's a new diet lifestyle, workout plan, a new morning ritual, whatever it is, make sure to plan a day ahead for what you will do tomorrow. Planning reduces opportunities to not commit. Mark off that time in the day to complete your goal, wake up in the morning, review your schedule and set your intentions to get it done!

As I referenced in the beginning of my blog I really LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Trish Blackwell's Annual Guide Book. It gives you that full view of what you are going for and what you want to accomplish. If you are into podcasts she has also done many podcasts on how to accomplish goals and so much more. Please check out her site for her "Confidence on the Go" podcasts episodes.  

So Friday, January 19, 2018,  is the big day...You may say "Why wait till Friday?!" Because I want to, lol...and are you really going to let a day of the week dictate your journey towards improving your life, your soul, your body and your mentality? 

I look forward to taking this journey with you!

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!
Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

Buffering...

We are in control of how we respond to an event we can't control. 

My life is currently in a buffer. Do you ever feel that way? Like things pause, but they are trying to be in motion and you are STUCK on this one action and NEED it move forward to the next scene. But no, that one action, that one situation that you really don't want to deep dive into has that freaking icon on it...IT'S BUFFERING. Right now I am in a scene with the buffer circle and I want to break it! 

I've cried, I've gotten angry on the inside, I've taking my meds and I've PRAYED. So now what? Maybe I stop hitting the mouse and the keyboards and I ask myself "why?" And here I am blogging. Why is this happening? What am I supposed to learn from this devastating situation completely out of my control? How do I move forward? 

That's usually the process right? When the computer stalls, the YouTube video buffers, life gets crazy...What do we do? Our normal instincts are to go into fix-it mode, which sometimes leads to frustration, i.e. throwing an innocent mouse across the room. But how about, SURRENDER? Surrendering gives us a chance to reclaim our sanity. We are in control of how we respond to an event we can't control. We are in the position to walk away, breathe and analyze. Sometimes its hitting a hard reset and sometimes it's answering hard questions. 

So today in my pain, in my fury, as my life buffers, I walk away, I breathe and I ask...
Why is this happening God? What do you want me to learn from it? How do I move forward?

Buffer moments...sometimes simple...sometimes complex...
Why didn't I get that job? Why didn't that relationship work out? Why did my child make that poor decision? Why did I spend my hard earned bill money on a non-essential item that I can't return? Why can't my baby daddy behave and pay child support? Why is may manager making my life a living H-E-double hockey sticks? 

There's beauty in the buffer. There's insight in the buffer. Appreciate the buffer...

How do you handle your buffer moments? Be honest? Do you scream? Do you take it out on innocent bystanders, friends, and loved ones? I do sometimes...a matter of fact before I surrendered I started to block all of my friends who were not responding to my buffer the way I wanted them to respond. (Don't judge me!) Do you hurt yourself verbally or physically? 

I challenge you today, tonight, this moment to handle your current or next buffer from a space of grace and control. Step away. Breathe. Analyze. Can I be honest...when I don't do those things or let's say when I attempt to, but don't fully commit, then I hurt myself physically, I cut. Why, because I can control the cut, I can control the depth of the blade entrance, I can control the placement, I can control the quantity. But then I don't get to enjoy the buffer...a matter of fact, after the cutting ends I'm still buffering. The situation still exists.  

So take my challenge, rise to the occasion and love yourself, LOVE THAT FREAKING BUFFER, give it the tightest hug and show that buffer gratitude. I showed my buffer gratitude today and it was HARD. I can't tell my buffer situation, because it involves my child and that's a violation of her privacy. But it was a huge buffer. But I journaled through it and even though I am still weak from the buffer, the video is starting to play again, the website is beginning to load everything on the page. And remember what God told us is Matthew 11:28, Amplified version, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]."

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God!
Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Self Love, Got Some?

Happy Hump Day!! We are half way through the week and I am feeling pretty pumped. Why am I so pumped? Uh, because I am like living, breathing, moving through the world with a sound mind! I get excited when I think about where I was mentally and emotionally 3-4 months ago in comparison to right now! 

I left off in my last blog touching on that awakening moment where I realized that I hadn't forgiven myself, which was leading to my depression. Picking back up from that place, I had been working on truly submitting to God, being more obedient with my time and my heart and listening when He would speak in my life. I was interceding diligently for my ex, a relationship that at the time I felt had left me broken. There was some verbal, mental and emotional abuse in that relationship which had left an imprint on my heart. Yet, my goal was to forgive and pray through that situation. I didn't want that relationship to be what would mark me from having a successful relationship in the future. I hadn't given up on love!

So, one night as I was on my knees, in my prayer closet, in true submission to God, I became so upset, because I had been praying and interceding for this person and I was still depressed. I wanted good things for them even though they were continuing to take actions that were devastating and hurtful to me and my finances. I cried out to God and asked Him why He wouldn't heal me from this pain and He told me so clearly, it's because I hadn't forgiven myself. 

That statement was so true and words so clear, that I literally just stopped crying. It was like the scenario of the toddler having a tantrum for candy, then when you give it to them they are immediately placed in a calm state. I hadn't forgiven myself. I was extremely angry with myself. I was so mad for choosing THAT person and going down THAT road.  A moment of transparency here: I met this person in April 2015 and in May 2015 God was VERY CLEAR that this person was not right for me. He was so clear that I wrote it in my journal, but you know what I did? I humanized it and explained it away. I told myself what God meant was…this relationship wouldn't work if I didn't change things about myself and this person didn't change things about themselves. I made it doable in my head. That wasn't fair for the other person, as they didn't know those plans and the expectations I had placed on them to fix some of the hurtful things they were doing in the relationship. 

What was happening was that I was so busy trying to meet a personal timeline of what I wanted in my life, that I failed to see that God knew what I needed. So, here I was now in January 2016, on my knees, heart broken, soul broken, mentally drained, completely pissed at myself for making that decision and I didn’t forgive myself. I was allowing this failed situation to define my identity, instead of looking at it as a failed event in my life. Why? Why was I taken this so hard? Because I didn't understand my worth. I didn't love myself. 

One of the most momentous and valuable decisions you can ever make in your life is discovering your worth and having an all encompassing love for yourself. I don't mean the love that involves a huge ego and arrogance. But the love where you love yourself through your mistakes, your flaws, your imperfections and also all the amazingly awesome things about yourself. I wasn't at that place with myself and when you aren't there, this affects so many facets of your life. It shows up in the quality of our relationships, career, faith and more. That's what had happened to me. I had accepted an abusive relationship because I thought I wasn't worthy of being with someone who spoke to me with respect. I thought, this person is so financially sound and will love my children unconditionally, so the least I can do is accept the flaws about them, because no one is perfect. 

Unfortunately it isn't that easy, because when we compromise love and respect for ourselves so many things suffer. We lose ourselves, we lose our purpose, we began to numb ourselves by shutting down. We lose our minds! Then before you know it, we are using medications to fix things that should be dealt with through the process of elimination. So, that night, on my knees, I knew I had work to do and Operation Learn to Love Myself began.

So, how do we began to work through that? How do we learn to love ourselves? First, we have to have a discovery period of what got us to this place. That means taking some time and looking at our past, from childhood issues, old beliefs and thoughts, as well as past events. Next, we have to escape the comparison trap. Society has placed this subconscious pressure on us to deliver the best on all these social media platforms. We find ourselves defining our worth based on materials, status, youth, money, attractiveness and romantic relationships. Finally, we have to shift our perspective. Again, not letting failures define our identity, but finding the value in the experience. 

God wants us to be happy and successful, yet we place limits on Him through the creation of our own timelines and expectations! We have to get excited about our future, understand our purpose and not be bound to our past. God promised to give us beauty for our ashes and it's our job to trust Him and know that the Best IS YET TO COME! 

If you are dealing with a lack of self-love I hope this blog was able to help you lay the ground work in building that love up for yourself. Remember that hurt people, hurt people. Therefore, make it your job to heal you so that you are able to present yourself wholly in your friendships, career, romantic relationship, etc.. 

Until next time, stay motivated, stay positive, and trust God! 

Please visit the Lovelee Motivation Facebook Page or Lovelee Motivation IG page to receive daily motivations and inspiration.

P.S. If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).